Lifeinvader

Birthday: 1993 Relationship Status: Mack daddy

Sex: Guy Interested in: Righteous Slaughter 7, video games, my sister's friends, pot

Religious Views: - Whatever gets me in the heaven with the hot angel girls. Political Views: - Who caresss??

About: it's Jizzle, Big-J, Jizz, J Dizz, J-Dog, Dangerous-J, or like, Jimmy De Santa

So that comedy writer I've been giving constructive criticism to online? Turns out he REALLY can't take a joke.

Everybody go see Meltdown! It's so awful it's awesome!

I'm a hero! I teabagged an elite special forces assassin and not just virtually in a game this time!

Wow you actually stepped up and did something not cowardly for once in your life.

Somehow my dad's become a movie producer and my sister's become a reality TV star! I really do need to do something with my life now!

The De Santa family is almost getting along. It's weird. I don't know if I like it.

Watching my dad beat up my mom's boyfriend then tattoo a penis on the slimy TV dude trying to bang my sister, it's a filial love I've rarely felt.

Dad beat up mom's boy toy with a laptop so I'm moving back home! Who's online later for some Slaughter time???

I am seriously low on funds. This whole independent thing is expensive, dudes.

A patronizing French yogi in his 20s is now bottom of my future father in law wish list.

That creepy Lazlow guy is totally grooming Tracey!

Has anyone got a sofa I can crash on?

Feeling kinda bad about what I did to my dad but then I'm also kinda over it.

How did that thing work out with your dad?

I've moved out bitchzzz! J-Dog is roaming free!

Who's checked out that viral Poppy Mitchell video? I would tear that ass up.

Got your message. Whatever you need, I'll be at burger shot.

oh great uncle trevor's back

Can't believe your folks sprung you for all that green!

Why did you tell dad about fame or shame you disgusting little turd??? I hope you eat yourself to deah.

Don't tell Mom and Dad about the auditions ok!

You weasely little shit telling dad about the party on the yacht. Get a life of your own!

In weird 'De Santa' family news... Dad smashes TV in blind rage, Jimmy + Dad go on gay bike ride, Dad hijacks a boat and steals sea shark. Oh, and Tracey does porn (ok no news there).

So tripped out about Jay Norris! I was all ready to camp out in line for that mobile device!

Oh and I did I mention that my dad is now best friends with the burglar who broken into our house? Don't even ask.

So that boat thing didn't work out. Lucky for me my dad's a lunatic or I could be dead right now!

So that car thing didn't work out. But new plan. 1) I need money 2) My dad's boat is just sitting there 3) Are we all doing the math?

Only my dad would return my new car at 100mph through the dealership window!

just saw a show about primordial dwarfs - I think that's what's wrong with your penis.

Looking at this paperwork again and think I might have got stiffed a little with this car deal. I'm guessing double digit percentages aren't a good thing? And are weekly payments normal?

All u losers bow down! Big J's gotta new whip! Canary yellow Karin BJXL" Oh yeah! Bitches will be FLOCKING!

I've realized I don't need my dad to buy me a car. I can get my own financing. There's these really amazing deals with zero down and no credit check at Premium Deluxe Motorsport.

Stop ordering food on my credit card and make do with the 3 delicious meals provided.

Stairs suck. When I get my own place. No stairs.

You smoke pole.

Is there anything more fun than systematically assassinating someone's character online?

It rocks you can smoke weed in your house.

if your tits get any bigger I'm going to have to lend you a bra.

Are all your internal organs lying in a pile on the floor between your legs? Because I just VIOLATED you on Level 9, dude!

Stop staring at my friends when they come over.

I'm not joking. I think I have bedsores after that 10 hour session on RS7!

You bite pillows

I can smell the rotting cheese in your neck rolls from my room

The lesson that love conquers everything is not one taught in our house

Stop locking yourself in the bathroom for half an hour with my high school yearbook! It's so gross!

you're going to die a virgin

How is your game that weak? You totally creeped those girls out last night, dude!

Your mom makes me feel funny in my pants

I honestly think I might have the most dysfunctional family in America

Can I get my copy of 'Ass ist gud ja' back now?

I hate it when my dad tries to act like he's my friend. No, I don't "want to throw a ball around", Mike.

Stop phoning me or I'll call the police.

Why does my third grade teacher still call my mom all the time?

You know what time it is! Slaughter time!

By the way, that thing you found in my drawer was a back massager

Any of you pussies want to get pounded on Army of Menace 3????

for a kid with learning difficulties you sure picked up masturbation fast

You know it's going to be a good day when you wake up thinking you finished all the nachos last night only to realize there's still half a bag.

Where do the days go? I don't know how employed people find the time.

You roast rump

Biggest shit ever dude! Almost broke the bowl!

Why do you always look like you've just been swimming in duck fat?

When the door's locked, you knock! How difficult is that for my parents to understand?

Me and my friends were just discussing how you look like a bald anemic sloth

LifeInvader

Jimmy De Santa

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